Take a second and think about the most important people in your life who had a very strong impact on how you turned out……I’ll wait…..got it? Were these people strong leaders in your life like your parents, grandparents or teachers? What about a mentor? Now take a second to think about how they impacted you…..John Maxwell is a very popular author of many leadership books and he discusses how leadership is broken down into different steps. However in all my experience and reading, there are either 100 different ways to describe leadership or people can’t define it at all. When I read one of Maxwell’s books, he defines leadership as “influence.” Now take a second to think about those people again….did they have a strong influence on you? More than likely they did!!

Of course this could be argued by saying, “well I’ve had people who influenced me in a negative way.” The reality of this is those same people probably had all the necessary leadership skills to lead others, but they didn’t use it for good and they used it to influence people in a negative way. Leadership skills are the same either way but can be used to manipulate just as easy as they are to grow others. This is where the core of that person needs to be strong and positive.

It’s not about you 

Influencing other people is a very powerful tool to have in your tool box. However, the foundation of this influence needs to be your intentions. If you are someone who people come to for advice or to ask life altering questions, give yourself a pat on the back because it means you are a trustworthy person. You are influencing others with your advice so understand that every word out of your mouth could potentially be challenged.  When these people ask you questions, you want to try and return with a challenge to them and ask them questions as well. For example: let’s say someone comes to you in confidence and expresses how they consistently have no money to spend. A good response question to them would be “What kind of choices are you making with the money you do have?” Challenge their minds and raise their perception on the very topic they approached you with. Good influence is digging deep into a person and changing their mindset on everything. I always tell people who are rising fast, they need to take off their slippers and put their dress shoes on. Stepping out of their current mindset and stepping into a stronger, more mature state of mind.

It’s about them 

One of the first things I learned about being a leader is it is no longer about me. Now I personally have more to learn about leadership and do not consider myself a “John Maxwell” by any means, however you do not need a lot of experience to simply influence another person. The majority of people influence others on a daily basis without ever knowing it. In my line of work, I am responsible for 10-15 other people at a time so I quickly learned how it was no longer about me but about them. Investing in and Empowering them to feel important and understood. Kids from 16 to adults in their 20s and up. Realizing that a 16 year old will always respond differently than a 25 year old, but treating them both with the same respect. Influence comes in all shapes and sizes, but showing someone you genuinely care about them and care about their success will give them more hope than anything else. It’s not about you, it’s about them.